Saturday, May 12, 2012
Have you read Women, Food & God? I have read the book, but then I got it from the library on CD so I could listen to it while working out. I was listening to it this morning, from the beginning. It just hit me in the face….reality…truth. It felt good to have someone speaking to me that just got me at the core.
I think it was just chapter 1. She is talking about basically what I blogged about the other day. The fear of losing the identity that I have always given myself. I’m always on a diet, always trying to lose weight, looking for the next best thing. This is what my time and thoughts are consumed with. What am I going to eat? What am I going to wear? just this constant state of things that revolve around my weight.
Even some of my friends revolve around this. We are always talking about our diet, exercise, pounds to lose, etc.
So if I don’t have a weight problem anymore, then what? What do I do? What do I talk about? How do I spend my time?
Is the fear of not knowing the answer to these questions what is keeping me fat? Is this why I subconsciously sabotage myself so I never reach my goals? Because I’m afraid that I may need to find something else to do? A different hobby?
So if I don’t have a weight problem anymore, then what? What do I do? What do I talk about? How do I spend my time?
Is the fear of not knowing the answer to these questions what is keeping me fat? Is this why I subconsciously sabotage myself so I never reach my goals? Because I’m afraid that I may need to find something else to do? A different hobby?
It all just hit me like a ton of bricks! I’m at the gym on the tread, listening to this book, saying Yes, Yes, I do that, Yes.
So here I am now, thinking about this and my next steps. It’s nice that I can read/listen to this book and get insight, but then I need to internalize it, believe it, change my mind. That doesn’t happen overnight. But now when I’m faced with a decision, I can remind myself of why I may want to make a bad choice, and hopefully that will lead me to the healthier choice.
So here I am now, thinking about this and my next steps. It’s nice that I can read/listen to this book and get insight, but then I need to internalize it, believe it, change my mind. That doesn’t happen overnight. But now when I’m faced with a decision, I can remind myself of why I may want to make a bad choice, and hopefully that will lead me to the healthier choice.
So last week, I didn’t plan, prepare or anything. So needless to say I didn’t have the best week. I didn’t really go crazy with my food or anything, I just felt a little lost and unorganized. I didn’t track for 3 days either. So I am back on track now, getting my food log completed for today, and ready to face the weekend. I’m going to get the rest of my groceries, get my kitchen cleaned up, food prepared and packaged for the upcoming week, and I’ll be set. I feel better when I’m organized. We have a busy week with soccer this week, so not the best time to slack.
Here’s to enlightening moments, baby steps, and progress not perfection! And also to the journey of finding me! And the things that I enjoy doing! 
gretchensjourney 
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